Moving is always difficult and very energy-consuming. On social media, we usually only see the “tip of the iceberg” — a tour of a new apartment, buying things for the home, happy faces against the backdrop of landmarks and beautiful views. But behind the scenes, there is often stress, mountains of belongings, and loneliness. In order not to break down in the first few months after moving, serious psychological preparation is essential. After all, a new place of residence means not only new opportunities, but also new problems and challenges.
Expectations and reality: what to be prepared for when moving to another country
Many people go in search of a “better life”, believing that as soon as they cross the border, all their problems will be in the past. But reality quickly sets in, especially if you are moving alone.
The most obvious difficulty is the difference in mentality. You can learn the language perfectly, but still not understand why people behave the way they do. These are unwritten rules that you have to learn through your own experience, which is often bitter. And for quite a long time, you may feel a little “out of place”.
But this is not the only problem you will face when moving to another country. Other less obvious challenges include:
- Social isolation. At home, you had a circle of friends with whom you felt comfortable. You had people to visit, confide in, or even just take a walk with, coffee in hand. In addition, over the years of living in your home country, you had built up a network of specialists: you had your own doctor, repairman, and even a hairdresser who gave you the best haircuts. In a new country, you will feel like you are in a vacuum at first. Your old friends will remain in a different time zone, and it may take months to make new ones.
- Culture shock. When moving, people often encounter a huge amount of new things: from landscapes to food. At first, this causes euphoria. But when the differences from the familiar become more and more obvious, positive emotions are replaced by negative ones. Especially when it comes to interacting with each other. You may often be misunderstood simply because you have very different values, beliefs, ways of speaking, and even expressions of emotion.
- Loss of status. At home, you may have been a first-class specialist with a good reputation. In a new country, you will have to prove your professional suitability from scratch, relearn everything, or even work in a low-paying job. In addition, at first, your colleagues may perceive you simply as “a colleague with an accent” and even treat you with arrogance or hostility. All this often leads to a loss of identity. After all, emigration literally destroys the foundations that allow you to feel confident.
- Everyday helplessness. Paying for utilities, getting a medical card or insurance, even the simple purchase of medicine at a pharmacy — in your home country, all of this was part of everyday life. But in a new country, even such simple actions can cause a lot of difficulties simply because you don’t know how to do them correctly. And, of course, the language barrier complicates everything. If you don’t know the language well enough, it can be difficult to solve everyday problems without help.
Often, people can’t handle the pressure and return home without ever waiting for the moment when the new country becomes “their own”. But there are still several ways to ease the process of adapting to a new place of residence.
Video chats as a tool for adaptation
Many immigrants say they feel lonely even when surrounded by hundreds of people. This is not surprising, given all the difficulties they face when moving. One way to get rid of loneliness is to communicate in online chats.
Chat roulette is a great tool for relieving tension and getting emotional release. Here you communicate with strangers whom you may be seeing for the first and last time. In addition, most platforms are anonymous, which means you can chat about any topic in an informal setting and discuss anything that is bothering you. For example, Bazoocam has a very large and active audience, and here you can easily find people who will understand you.
Another advantage of communicating in a random video chat is the opportunity to practice foreign languages. Here you can chat with native speakers and learn a lot about the nuances of pronunciation, the use of certain abbreviations, etc. The most important advantage of this type of communication is that you hear live speech, as well as various accents and dialects that are not taught in language schools. And by communicating with native speakers, you will be able to speak more naturally yourself and perceive information more easily by ear.
In addition, new acquaintances from roulette chats often turn into real friends. You can easily meet someone from your city and the next day chat in a cozy coffee shop and learn something about your new place of residence. There are also random chats for finding romantic encounters. For example, site like Bazoocam CooMeet.chat connects men only with women and vice versa. And because every woman confirms her details, you can be sure that there is a real person on the other side of the screen, not a fake or a bot.
And a few more tips to finish with
The main thing when moving is to get yourself in the right frame of mind from the very beginning. Moving to another country is a huge strain on the psyche. To make it easier for yourself, set realistic goals. We all understand that it’s simply unrealistic to find the perfect apartment, your dream job, and make friends in a week. And when you set such unattainable goals, you drive yourself into depression. Therefore, all expectations and goals should be realistic and achievable. That way, you will spend your energy on solving the tasks at hand, rather than engaging in self-flagellation.
Another way to adapt more quickly is to stay in touch with the diaspora. You are not the first immigrant, and there are thousands of people who have gone through the same thing as you. By staying in touch with the diaspora, you can simplify the adaptation process and feel that you are not alone. But it is important not to limit yourself to this circle. Communicate with neighbors or colleagues, participate in events, and visit public places. The more you communicate with local residents, the easier it will be for you to become “one of them”.
And remember that adaptation takes time — from three months to a year. And it’s perfectly normal to feel out of place until you get used to your new home. Allow yourself to make mistakes, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and stay positive.
